I remember growing up to be a chubby pale looking kid who did not get enough exercise and ate too many unhealthy meals. I started school in Shakopee, Minnesota, continuing my loner lifestyle from where I left off in California.
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I was not street-smart at all. I let people walk all over me and push me around. I could not and did not defend myself from their bullying... I was a coward. I did not tell anyone about my experiences under the abusive hands of the bullies for fear of their retaliation.
I often felt unconnected and out of touch with life. I felt like I was differed from other people; like they did not understand me and I did not understand them; as if I was an alien and not really a part of or from this world.
I began to hate myself; to feel a strong dislike for anything that had ‘me’ in it. I did not want to see my own picture. I would erase my face out of family portraits just so I would not see myself.
I began to struggle in high school, in various aspects. I was not performing like I used to. Things went from bad to worse, literally. I cried out to God and asked him to help me, for things to change in my favour. By the time I began my senior year; I would get straight ‘A’s, was voted student body president, was voted runner-up for Homecoming King, lead the Christian Youth Club as President, represented my high school at the State Student Council, was elected to The American Legion Boys’ State Convention. God had given me exactly what I needed and wanted!
I had lots of “personal demons” to fight, such as a low self-esteem, low self-confidence and people (mostly at school) not seeing much good in me, always taunting me, making a joke of me and bullying me. I did not see any good in myself, either. I did have friends, yet I felt alienated; like I was not good enough.
But God does not care how damaged you are; he does not care how rejected and unwanted you are or how you belittle yourself. God does not see that, nor will he reject you.
Instead, God will help you; he will work with what little is left of the “real” you and will work on you and help you overcome your challenges. He does not care what your opinion of yourself is or how badly you see yourself. In fact, often times the lesser you think about yourself, the more you allow Him to manifest Himself and work His miracle.
The Bible says that His strength is manifested in our weakness. When we are weak, He is strong.
Your opinion of yourself and other peoples’ opinions of you do not matter to Him; do you consider yourself to be “damaged goods?” Take heart: God fixes damaged goods; whether you consider yourself unworthy of being loved, he loves you nonetheless. What is difficult to you is easy to Him. No human can unscramble an egg… but God can.